7 Must-Have Items for Millennial Introverts

There are so many items on the market geared towards Millennials. From the latest apps, to bizarre foods, to tech trends, millennial products are flooding the market place. But what about the untapped market of the Millennial Introvert? Introverts are too often overlooked because society literally can’t hear them. But just because an introvert’s mouth is closed doesn’t mean their wallet isn’t wide open. Read on to discover 7 products perfect for tapping into the Millennial Introvert market.

1) Shy Tea Latte

If you want to get more Millennials into your coffee shop, try adding a Shy Tea Latte to the menu. Ordering a Shy Tea Latte is the exact same thing as ordering a Chai Tea latte but with one important twist, a Shy Tea Latte eliminates small talk. Ordering this latte let’s the barista know that you’re an introvert. This drink sends the message that you’d rather not engage in chit-chat while they’re making your drink. Just the coffee will be fine, thanks.

2) Amazon Talk-o

Introverts hate starting conversations. Even mustering up the courage to talk to a robotic Amazon Echo is enough to make an introvert quiver in fear. The solution? An Amazon Talk-O! An extremely extroverted Echo that will do all the talking! The Amazon Talk-O is voiced by Chatty Cathy rather than the traditional Alexa. You simply ask, “Chatty Cathy, what’s new with you today?”, and Chatty Cathy will talk your ear off without ever asking you a single personal question.

3) Shhhh-Uber

Let’s face it, introverts do NOT want to ride in a traditional Uber. Between the loud music and chatty drivers, Ubers turn into an introvert‘s worst nightmare. A “Shhhh-Uber” (Trademark Pending) is the perfect ride sharing app for introverts. In a “Shhhh-Uber”, the drivers won’t even say hello to you. There is absolutely no contact between you and the Shhhh-Uber driver. The rear view mirror is covered in black tape so that there’s no chance of them even glancing at you. There are two audio options in the Shhhh-Uber: classical music, or a recording of Maggie Smith whispering soothing compliments in your ear.

4) Lit Bit

Everyone knows that introverts spend all their time reading books under picturesque staircases. This means they have no need for the gaudy, aggressive, over-hyped “Fit Bit” that’s so popular among fitness fanatics. Instead, they need a watch that keeps track of their literary conquests! The Lit Bit would keep track of the number of words, pages, and chapters the introvert read that day. 

5) Find-A-Dog App

If an introvert finds himself stuck at a social gathering, there is no time to waste. He must find a dog as quickly and efficiently as possible to avoid human interaction. When you spend all night petting a dog, people assume you’re an animal lover rather than a people hater. The Find-A-Dog app would allow every introvert to instantly locate the nearest dog at any event.

6) “I’m Just Looking, Thanks” T-shirt:

There is no entering a retail establishment now a days without having a sales person ask if you need help finding something. Introducing the Shopping Shirt for Introverts! When you’re wearing your, “I’m Just Looking, Thanks” tee, you can fend off unwanted contact with retail professionals. The tee shirt comes in neon yellow with bold black lettering. It can be worn every time an introvert enters a retail establishment to fend off incoming sales reps. 

7) Mumble Dating App

A spin-off of the popular Bumble dating app, Mumble is an app exclusively for introverts. Before you can join you must confirm that you speak less than 100 words per day. You must agree to the Terms and Conditions which include: no small talk, no sound effects, and no Adam Sandler movie references. Once you’re in the app, you have thousands of Mumblers in your area to choose from. Dates will be held at serene locations like libraries or koi ponds.