On May 6, 2018, Tabatha Jones finished her Improv 101 showcase with a smile and a wave to the audience. She greeted her roommate, boyfriend, and mom outside the Improv studio and suggested they all go for a post show drink at Chili’s.
The second the group sat down at the table, Tabatha’s tone changed. “So what did you think of the show?” Tabatha asked the group. “It was good!” Tabatha’s mother exclaimed before reaching for the menu. There was a long pause before Tabatha responded, “But what do you mean good?” All three of Tabatha’s loved ones made eye contact with each other before her boyfriend spoke up. “Come on Tabatha, it was a good show but you’re still new at this! You can’t expect to be the next Tina Fey already!”
Suddenly, Tabatha pulled out a massive rope from her backpack and tied each of her loved ones to their sticky Chili’s bar stool. She slammed her fist on the table and declared, “No one is leaving here until I get THOROUGH feedback on my performance!”
The waitress came to the table to drop off the group’s margaritas and Tabatha poured each one down her throat in one gulp before turning back to her horrified friends and family.
She pulled a loaded pistol out and pointed it at the group. She started asking them a million questions a minute, not pausing to hear their responses.
“Did I not say ‘yes AND’ enough??”
“When I was pretending to be a goldfish could you SEE the emotion of a fish in my eyes?”
“Do you think I asked too many questions? OH GOD I ASKED TOO MANY QUESTIONS, DIDN’T I?”
She then pulled out her laptop and typed in “Full Episodes of Whose Line is it Anyway” on Youtube. She propped up her laptop and told the group to shut up and watch the show since they CLEARLY don’t understand what Improv even is. After two hours of Whose Line is it Anyway episodes she finally closed her laptop.
“Which Whose Line actor would you say my performance was most derivative of? Am I more of a Colin or a Wayne??? ” Tabatha demanded.
“Babe I have to go the bathroom, please untie me, this is insane” Tabatha’s boyfriend pleaded with her.
“Well why don’t you just PRETEND there’s a bathroom here if you think you’re so GREAT at improv?” Tabatha shot back.
Just then Tabatha’s improv teacher showed up to the restaurant. She held up a fake gun and pointed it at Tabatha. “Tabatha I have a gun here, drop your weapon or I will shoot.” Tabatha, eager to please her improv teacher, dropped her real gun and put her hands up, doing her best impression of someone being held at gun point.
“Yes, and now I want you to do a scene where you’re pretending like you’re saving hostages and untie your friends and family.” Tabatha’s improve teacher instructed her.
Tabatha immediately jumped up and untied her loved ones.
“Very good. Good scene work,” The instructor cooed at Tabatha as she was untying her friends and family.
The police arrived on scene and put Tabatha in handcuffs, leading her out of the Chili’s. Tabatha muttered to herself “There are no mistakes in improv” over and over as she was driven away to jail.
