How I Found Love on the Trump Dating Website

Before yesterday I had never tried online dating in my life. When a friend sent me the link to Trump.dating.com I was apprehensive. With today’s political climate I’m embarrassed to even wear my “Hillary for Prison” t- shirt outside, much less set up a profile declaring my love for Donald Trump.  After some convincing I decided the chance of finding my political soul mate far outweighed any fears I had. So I dusted off my MAGA hat, took a profile picture, and launched my Trump Dating Profile.

24 hours later and I am in the healthiest relationship of my life with a man I found on the site. I want to encourage anyone who’s thinking of trying Trump Dating to do so. I’m going to walk you step-by-step through how I found love on Trump.Dating.com and you can too.

Pick a Quality Username

The first thing you must do is pick a catchy username that reflects what you’re looking for. I went with “Search4MrWhite” as it describes exactly what I’m trying to do on the site! Being honest and up front about your username will attract the white kinds of people to you.

Choose Your Team

The next step in setting up your online Trump Dating profile is to choose your team. I was absolutely thrilled to see the only two options for your sexual identity were “straight man” or “straight woman”.

I know gay marriage was legalized three years ago in the United States but I never wanted to acknowledge it and now I don’t have to!  I’m so excited to find a platform that honors my hetero-normative lifestyle.

Set Up Your Profile

Now that all of the gays have been weeded out through a preliminary screening, it’s time to set up your profile. You will be asked to identify a number of features about yourself including ethnicity, height, hair color, eye color, and body type.

Once I saw the drop down menu for the ethnicity option my beating white heart nearly burst with joy.

It’s so nice as a white person to have the opportunity to classify my white heritage. I’m more than just the color “white” after all! I will admit that I was confused about what I should put in this section. After all, my heritage is so rich and diverse. I consider myself white/Caucasian but on the other hand I’m 4/16ths Scandinavian and 3/4ths Western European. In the end I went with the white/Caucasion option. I was delighted to finally find a website that gave me, a white person, more options to express my background!

You’ll also be happy to know that when choosing your hair and eye color, traditional Aryan features are listed at the top. This makes locating blue eyes and blonde hair super easy and convenient, thanks Trump Dating.

Explore the Thousands of Amazing 100% Straight Men

After your profile is up you’re ready to start the hunt.

I decided to narrow down my search to: “Straight man. Any Age. Anywhere.”

Unfortunately Trump Dating doesn’t have a “swipe” option. There are so many great candidates for your love that you’ll want to swipe through and view them all quickly. However, the site forces you to take your time and read each profile carefully.

Try Some Trump-centric Pick Up Lines

Whenever you use any dating app it’s important you target your pick up lines to your audience.

For instance, if you were on FarmersOnly.com you might try the line, “I have three hoes in the shed, but I could always use one more.”

When you’re on Trump.Dating.com you have to cater your opening lines to other people who love Donald J. Trump. I’ve outlined some suggestions that worked great for me:

“I’d like to give you a small loan of one million dollars… and my heart”

“I want to date you as much as Trump wants to date his daughter”

“Are you in the top 1%? Because I care about you a lot more than anyone else!”

“Hey there, there are rumors that you have really tiny hands. Care to prove them wrong?”

“Our relationship will be as secure as the Mexican border once the wall goes up”

“Speaking of that. The wall isn’t the only thing I want to see go up this year”

Choose One Lucky Guy

As you can probably tell from Trump’s three marriages and numerous extramarital affairs, he and his followers are serial monogamists.

This means you’ll have to choose just one of the truly amazing men on this site. After dropping the pick up lines mentioned above, you’ll have dozens of men vying for your attention. I’ll give you a few of the bachelor’s who are waiting for you upon your arrival at Trump.dating.com

Bachelor # 1) IWantaTrumpBaby

Looking to have kids right away? Want to make sure the first word out of their mouth is MAGA? This guy could be a great choice!

Bachelor # 2) Petlover451

With the username Petlover451, I am honestly not sure if this man is describing a human or a Lassie. But if you are willing to yap ocassionally it’s possible he won’t tell the difference.

Bachelor #3) makeJRgreatagain

The bar is set really low here, ladies. All you have to do is not take his guns away!

Bachelor #4) ThatGirlLovesMe

This username sounds like something you say right after the cops find a teenager tied up in your basement. Ignoring that, he is yearning for your love.

Bachelor #5) ScrantonCase78

That’s right folks, Toby Flenderson was spotted on TrumpDating.com. If that doesn’t attest to the high quality of man on this site then I don’t know what will.

Bachelor # 6) Trumpuniversity

For all those who love failed business models and exploiting students out of their money. You’ve found your dream guy in Trumpuniversity.

Bachelor #7) Crownmekingmaga

Ladies out there who love the alpha type will get along great with King MAGA.

Bachelor # 8) HIGHQUALITYMAN

WHEN YOU PUT SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS IT ALWAYS SOUNDS BELIEVABLE.

Live happily ever after with trump datng

Thanks to Trump.dating.com I met 619SugarDaddy and we fell in love.

Our relationship is exactly like Melania and Donald Trump’s in that they are both based entirely in love and not about the money at all. Trump Dating has brought me so much happiness, and I want to share that joy with you.

Don’t delay, sign up today and be a part of MDGA, making dating great again.