Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them in the Migrant Caravan

At this very moment, thousands of migrants are marching from Honduras, Guatemala, and El Salvador towards the United States border. Reportedly, however, not all of these migrants are from Central America. Indeed, some members of the caravan have flown in from around the world to join the march. One man, snorkel in hand, said he swam from Africa to be part of the caravan.

American citizens need to open their eyes to the horrors this caravan contains. Terrorists from MS-13 are roasting marshmallows to make s’mores for the Guatemalan children at their campsites each night.

You wouldn’t believe what types of criminals lie within this caravan. Witnesses are even calling them “fantastic beasts”. These countries aren’t sending their best. They’re sending murderers, rapists, and Nifflers.

Bowtruckles are latching on to migrant’s clothing, blending in with their camouflage. These sneaky creatures hope to cling on to the migrants JUST long enough for them to hop across the US border undetected.

Huge Erumpets, that are basically horny rhinos, are plowing through the caravan, saving themselves for sweet, white American women. Demiguise are using their powers of invisibility to walk undetected amongst the caravan. Occamys are flying towards the border, hungry for your golden retrievers.

It has been said that George Soros is paying this caravan of beasts with Happy Meals because he wants them to invade the United States. Sources say the first thing he’ll do when the migrants cross the border is register them to vote as Democrats.

With all of these fantastic beasts, the caravan numbers rise to the trillions. America is not safe. People need to start boarding up their windows. Texas needs to evacuate. Every man, woman, and child should be purchasing a gun to defend themselves.  If you hear a knock on the door in the next 6 months, don’t answer it. There’s a 98% chance it’s a fantastic beast from the caravan looking to steal your job at the accounting firm. Murtlaps are amazing mathematicians.

According to Donald Trump, any healthy male between the ages of 18-35 will be sent to fight the caravan. In times like this we need to stick together more than ever, America. They will not replace us. MAHA. Make America Human Again.