The 2018 Winter Olympics are upon us. NBC is really excited. The 2018 Winter Olympians are really excited. Show of hands, Is anyone else really excited?
I understand that the Winter Olympics are a special time when the great nations of this world can huddle in groups and freeze together. It’s also the one occasion every four years where Mike Pence can sit near a woman who’s not his wife in public.
That being said, I try to avoid watching the Winter Olympics if at all possible. I’m a Floridian and I shiver just looking at snow on TV.
Whether you care about the Winter Olympics or not, you’re probably finding yourself stuck in random conversations about them. Maybe your girl can’t stop talking about how she “always wanted to be a figure skater,” and she keeps throwing words at you like “quadruple axel.” Or maybe your boss asked you what you thought of that Twizzle last night and you wondered how he knew you were up late eating licorice candy.
It’s possible I don’t care for the Winter Olympics because I don’t understand them. If you’re in the same boat (or sled) you’ve stumbled across the right article. I’ll be giving you a list of Winter Olympics terms so you can glide through your next conversation and win the gold.
1) Skeleton
What I thought it meant: A collection of bones inside most animals.
What it really means: A winter sliding sport in which a person rides a small sled, known as a skeleton bobsled, down a frozen track while lying face down and head-first.
Who in their right mind is going to lay down on a mat and slide down an icy slope HEAD FIRST? If something happens to fall on the track have fun ramming into it with your SKULL. Did they name this event “skeleton” because the first few times people tried it their skeleton was all that was left of them?
2) Salchow
What I thought it meant: Diner slang for salmon chowder. I.e. “Luke we need an order of salchow stat!”
What it really means: A jump in which the skater leaps from the back inside edge of one skate, making one full rotation of the body in the air, and lands on the back outside edge of the other skate.
3) Slalom
What I thought it meant: A Jewish greeting akin to Shalom!
What it really means: A ski race down a course marked by flags.
4) Twizzle
What I thought it meant: An affectionate nickname for the licorice candy, the Twizzler.
What it really means: A multirotational one-foot turn in figure skating.
Fo Twizzle my nizzle.
5) Icing
What I thought it meant: Either a delicious topping on a cake, a jewelry store for tweens, or the act of kneeling before someone with a Smirnoff ice.
What it really means: “A defensive maneuver in hockey, happens when a player shoots the puck from the defensive half of the rink over the opponent’s goal line, but not into the goal, in order to keep the puck out of the reach of attacking opponents”
6) Luge
What I thought it meant: A common typo in Donald Trump’s “It’s gonna be HUGE” tweets.
What it really means: A light toboggan for one or two people, ridden in a sitting or supine position.
7) Chicken Salad
What I thought it meant: A disgusting combination of chicken, mayonnaise, and whatever else you have in your kitchen. Recently made popular to eat in restaurants by the offensive chain, Chicken Salad Chick.
What it really means: A snowboarding trick shot.
8) Curling
What I thought it meant: The process of wrapping ones hair around a curling iron OR engaging the biceps with dumbbells.
What it really means: “A game played on ice, especially in Scotland and Canada, in which large, round, flat stones are slid across the surface toward a mark.”
Ask me how this is different than hockey in the comments. I dare you.
9) Double Cork:
What I thought it meant: When you’re getting ready for a bomb wine night with your closest friends and you know one bottle won’t be enough so you pop the cork out of two bottles at once.
What it really means: An in-air stunt in which a snowboard does two rotations before landing.
10) McTwist
What I thought it meant: An alternate universe version of the Mcdonald’s Mcflurry, except three times as delicious and the machine is never broken.
What it really means: An aerial snowboarding move where the rider performs an “inverted backside 540.”
Use these winter olympics terms wisely
Now that you’ve been given a list of Winter Olympics terms you’ll probably want to show off your knowledge. Be sure to pace yourself, you don’t have to use all ten words at once. There’s no need to dive head first into your next conversation like a crazed Skeleton Olympian.
But at least now when you feel a lull in conversation you can talk about that sweet Chicken Salad trick shot you saw on TV and blend in just fine.
Cooool article, learned a lot!
Hahaha YES these are hilarious! Well written!
This is great!! We love watching the Olympics at our house! So funny!
This is like a whole new language to me! I love to watch the winter Olympics but I have no clue what is going on half the time!
I am fascinated by Skeleton and how one decides that such a sport is for them.
Super helpful I honestly had no idea what most of these were.
Hahaha these are so funny! I also had no idea what most of those names were. I always learn something new every Olympics.
Wow. This is so useful. Been watching the games without knowing all these things:) Now I better 🙂
I love this! This is hilarious! I was wondering what in the heck ‘curling’ was, thank you!
Thanks for the information. I think that “skeleton” is s dangerous sport. Going head first at that speed? Oh no. I have seen some of that “curling” event on TV. but this is the first time I learned that that is what it’s called.
Such a fun post, learnt lots and giggled along the way! Going to freak and test out my colleagues lol!
This made my entire week!
This is a humorous take on the terminology. We are a non Olympics watching family. We are waiting impatiently for them to be over so This Is Us comes back on!
I am laughing so loud I am waking my baby up! Lol this is just hilarious!!! I am a Olympics fun since I am born and raised Greek!
Hahaha… this is hilarious … I do love watching the Olympics when I can but goodness those snow boarders have an awful lot of goofy names for their moves! … but as a former figure skater i guess we do too! 🙂
Amazing gifs and funny terms.. like it 🙂
This is helpful. I really had no idea what these terms meant before you explained them to me. I haven’t watched a lot of the winter olympics.
haha I love this! I knew most of these terms, but not all, and I LOVE all of your “what I thought it meant.” LOL
-Lauren
http://www.shootingstarsmag.net
This post is everything! ROFL I do love watching the Olympics – to a point – about five minutes of each event or the highlights. I do watch more of the ice skating just to say how much better it was “back in the day”. This cracked me up the whole way through! Should go viral!
Hahahaha. That was hysterical! This was the first year watching the winter olympics, and I had to question a few of the terms.
Should have saw this post earlier. Haha. I had no idea what those ment before, thanks for sharing and making everything easier.
Whoa! These are new and interesting. I enjoyed reading your versions more than the actual meanings 🙂
Skeleton is hilarious! What about “amplitude?” Why does every jumper have amplitude?
Okay this made me laugh a lot! I’m such a dork with these terms as well and yep, would thought much the same!.Thanks for the enlightenment!
OMG I always die laughing when I watch snowboarding and they use these terms. Chicken salad . . what the heck? haha thanks for clearing these up.
Haha this is great I have to admit some of them I had no idea of! Whoops!
Hahahaha. I bet that someone’s job. They get paid good money to come up with those crazy names. Wonder how you apply?
Oh i am dying reading this. So funny I had to read it out loud to Russell because we have been wondering the same thing for two weeks about the “Twizzle” Best post I have read in so long!
I was belly laughing ready these haha. Especially the “Luge” one lol very witty and good info thrown in there too! 🙂
This is just too funny — especially the skeleton one. When I was watching the winter sports I was like — “That looks super dangerous.”
Funny post! x
Michelle
dressingwithstyle-s.com
You’re hilarious! I now want to go get twizzlers for some reason. I’m not really into the winter Olympics either, but I did enjoy watching the Tonya Harding documentaries. lol
Twizzle… what a funny word! Lol. Was really interesting reading This and learning what the different words mean, interesting how different the actual meanings are too
This is awesome! I love watching the Olympics but some of these sport names confuse me. Love the graphics and descriptions. Was laughing out loud!
I’m glad you posted this. I was watching and some terms just confused the heck out of me.
I had good laugh over some information for winter olympics also. So, I think, I was also thinking of these terms just like your thoughts, thanks for showing the real meanings of these sports , had a great fun reading it.
What a fun post this one is. I havent been watching the games but I bet this dictionary is going to be really useful to everyone watching.
Lol. I love your posts! I feel ya on not watching and not being interested the olympics this year. Probably because I don’t know what they are talking about. But now I will!! Now if crafting was an Olympic sport then it would have my attention!! ❤️
This is such a funny and amusing post but very informative at the same time! I did not know what the game is, the one with the round stone. I just found out what it is called, thanks to you!
This is actually rather helpful! I love the Olympics, but summer has always been more my Jam ( former swimmer here lol) I also live in Florida, so not many winter sports down here so I really do not know much about them!
Hahaha this was hilarious
Hahaha!!! This was great!!! And I needed the “refresher” as I am not as much about winter Olympics as I am summer. I feel like this “caught me up”. LOL!
Ha ha the double cork reference is too funny. Thanks for the share!
I have never really watched the Olympics before, it just isn’t our thing. My husband and I did happen upon curling one time about 15 years ago and we were baffled by it. I never understood why the guy is doing the sweeping thing and it is kinda comical to us as well. The terms, the sports, the rules, are all way too much for me. I will stick with watching Impractical Jokers. lol
haha! This is so funny! We have been watching this year and it has been fun but now when I watch I will be laughing at your terms! Thanks for the creativity!
ba ha ha ha! That was a great read. Love the twizzle my nizzle my friend. Good job on starting my day off with a smile.
hahaaha omg this post made me laugh so hard. It’s so true! I love watching winter sports but never paid much attention to the terms they use
I’m glad you shared this post. So many phrases that said nothing to me when I heard them. Loving the winter sports.
I enjoyed reading the post! Its hilarious and I’ve learnt new terms lol. Thank you for sharing
Haha, thanks for sharing. I learned so much today. Never heard of these terms in the Winter Olympics except the luge. I did get to watch the skeleton and boy that was scary. I will turn to a skeleton if I even attempt to do that. I don’t even know how they practice for such a game.
What a fun post! Loved it! The gifs were great too! I learned some new words!
How is curling different from hockey? Loved the post! Too funny!
This is hilarious!!! Love it!
I’ve heard some of the terms. Not all of them. The ‘I thoughts’ are fun. 🙂
This is great! I knew a few of them but I’ll have to admit…there were a few that I thought the same thing you did when I heard them haha. I appreciate the reference though. I would never have known for sure! Great post
Lol! I too, really do not care about the winter Olympics, or any Olympics really… but this was really funny. Great job!
These are absolutely hilarious!! I would never have thought to use these terms but I just might 😀
This is very good. Oddly, useful as well as funny. (I’m not a sports fan – can you tell?)
Come on McTwist is a real word? They know they were inspired by McDonalds lol!
Now I don’t need Mister Google. Lol, never ever watch any Winter Olympics. So honestly don’t have any idea what these sports are.
This is so hilarious! I am not aware of the terms and meaning too so these are new to me.
LOL! Fo Twizzle My Nizzle. You are hilarious. I love you.